Many people often comment on how positive I am.  I do pride myself on the fact that I usually can find a silver lining in hard situations, and I don’t take myself too seriously.

But tonight I am struggling. 

Not because I had a bad day, or a bad POTS appointment.  In fact, I saw Dr. Grubb today, and my appointment went well, and I have to say that Dr. Grubb truly is an incredible man. 

But sometimes life smacks you in the face and it is overwhelming. And exhausting. And you feel vulnerable and defeated.

Music.  Relationships. 

Relationships.  Music. 

These are the two things that have gotten me through this past year without going crazy.  These are the two things that I lean on heavily everyday for my survival.  For my sanity.  For my motivation and inspiration.  For my Faith.

I could write for hours and hours about both of these topics, and as I continue to blog, I know that they will keep surfacing as major players in my life.  U2 is something I have been meaning to write about since I saw them in concert at Spartan Stadium a little over a week ago.  It is funny because the first 27 years of my life, I liked U2.  They made up a chunk of my running playlist.  I would watch some of their concerts on Palladia.  I knew and admired that Bono was really involved with various charities. 

1.  Medical Stuff:

• 1 Day of Home Rehab.
• 1 day of PT.
• Prolotherapy Round 6.  More to come about this round.

1.  Medical Stuff:

• I love finding EDS and POTS success stories.  Here is a link to one of the latest uplifting stories I found…

• Dentist appointment.  No cavities but I am too switch from using regular floss to using the floss picks so I am able to hold them with one hand.  I showed my dentist how I flossed with my hand that doesn’t have feeling and he suggested I switch to the picks so I can use my right hand only.
• 3 days of Home Rehab.
• 1 Day of PT.  On Thursday, I started using this….

Dr. Rosen asked me at my last appointment if I wished I was never diagnosed with EDS.  I was already emotional and actually got kind of angry at his question.  Without any hesitation, I snapped back that of course I wish I didn’t have EDS. 

After I left my appointment that day, it was as if Dr. Rosen’s question was haunting me.  I could not get it off of my mind.  I realized as I thought more and more about it that the answer to that question is not as black and white as I thought it was at the time.  I took that question with me to therapy.  I took it with me to Georgia.  I sent my Aunt Mada a Facebook message about it to see what her perspective was since she lives a full and active life with MS.  And then I thought about it some more.